Category Archives: Religion

mindless hate

Sigh.

It takes a lot to get me angry these days.  Maybe it’s a function of age and passions have cooled, or maybe I don’t have as much to get angry at these days.  Sure there are things that frustrate me, all around me and I get frustrated on a daily basis.  But anger doesn’t manifest itself in my life anymore.  At least I didn’t think it did.

I was driving around getting various chores done early on a Saturday morning.  I pulled up at a turn signal at a large intersection and as happens more often than not there was a panhandler there.

He looked thoroughly beat up by life.  Dark tanned skin, ratty and dirty clothes, and nothing than skin and bones.  Most public officials frown on people helping out panhandlers but I will pass out a few dollars every once in a while and I suppose I will continue to do it in the future.

But just before I hand my money over he stops me and pulls out a printed sign.  He asks me if I was a christian and just then I read the sign that’s filled with a litany of hateful anti-homosexual messages.  The sign looks like it was printed on a computer and the paper was laminated so it could survive out on the streets.  I think to myself “You’ve got to be kidding me”.

He starts up on some rehearsed speech denouncing same-sex marriage.  I stop him in mid-stride and tell him “I am not going to listen to this.  We are not going there.”  He walks off down the median and mumbles something that sounded like “Have a nice life, homosexual lover”.  Of course he didn’t say homosexual.

I think about getting out and saying or doing something regretful but the light turns green and I drive off instead.  I have to control my foot to not floor the pedal.

I am incensed.

It’s a naked, mindless bigotry that I have not witnessed in a long time.  It’s not the veiled or hidden prejudice that you see in popular media or hinted at by people you may casually know.  It was this stupid, in your face, and even prideful hatred that I thought no longer existed except in some of the most backward of places in the middle of nowhere.

I am flabbergasted for the longest time.  Just mulling it over and over in my head.  It’s like I can’t believe I just had this encounter.

What makes it worse is that this is a guy that most likely has had to live with the sting of prejudice against homeless people.  People have probably made negative judgments about his character without knowing anything about him and here he is doing the same thing.  I want to find this guy and ask him what made him turn into this hateful person?  Was it his family, a teacher, some friends that warped his perspective and made him the way he was now?

I am left angry by the encounter.  Angry that this still exists, angry that people can still fall prey to such notions.  Angry that I can’t really do that much to change the situation.

I wish I could end this post on a happy note but there is really nothing happy about the episode.  This is just sad.

The wisdom

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

– Reinhold Niebuhr

I was always given to understand that this was the U.S. Army Ranger prayer but recently I found out that it wasn’t and that in fact it’s part of a prayer used by Alcoholics Anonymous.

I suppose it’s good for both cases.  Both sets of people face daunting challenges after all and everyone can benefit from the good advice given.

The Serenity

When I was younger and more bright-eyed I believed that any and every problem was solvable not just by the world at large but by me in particular.  What a shock it was to find out that it wasn’t.  It felt something like being punched for the first time to find out that you have limitations.  You want to get back up and try to make that change but some things in life are not going to turn out the way you want them to.  You can make yourself miserable by trying and failing over and over again at the same task.  This misery can metastasize into a feeling of futility about not just that particular problem but about your life in general.  Somewhere along the line I learned that in some things I have to let go.

The courage

In the original version I heard this was the “the strength to change the things I can“.  We all need to realize that yes we have to accept some things in life as unsolvable.  Not everything is going to work out the way you want it to but first we need to look deep inside and see if we do have the strength to make things better.  Many times when we get pushed and pushed to our extreme limits we find that yes indeed we do have that inner core of strength just waiting to come out.  Deep inside lies the untapped potential of our being just waiting for the opportunity to come to our rescue in our darkest hours.  Realize that it is in all of us to make our situation better.  We don’t have to accept every situation as is.  Remember that line from the Pet Shop boys.

There’s a lot of opportunities
If there aren’t, you can make them  – “Opportunities”

The Wisdom

This is where most of us trip up.  how can you tell which is the solvable problem and which is not?  That I can’t say.  Each is unique and has its own characteristics and there are no easy answers.  A part of wisdom is persistence.  You have to look over a problem from every possible and impossible angle to see if there is a solution.  Part of it is courage.  You have to look deep inside yourself and see if you have the will inside of you to carry out a solution no matter how much it may cost you personally.  The last part is the serenity.  You have to sometimes accept that it’s okay to walk away.

Faith

My faith is a private matter and I rarely discuss it.  I do not feel bound to share or force my religious views on others.  I am no proselytizer.  I would probably drive away more people than I would convert and there are people far better suited in temperament and persuasive powers to fill that role so I leave that to them.

As with most folks I came to my set of beliefs through my family.  My father is a Presbyterian, although he himself would admit not the best one and I’ve yet to see him attend a single service at any Presbyterian church.  My mother is Catholic and devout.  She wanted all her kids baptized but that’s as far as she pressed it.  In her opinion a person’s faith was their own to develop as they saw fit.  I suppose I inherited that viewpoint as well.

I keep my faith quiet as it is an internal matter and does not need the input of others to work.  I see it as a source of comfort and strength during hard times.  I don’t mean hard as in work sucks or my significant other is cheating on me or any of life’s little dramas.  I mean those times when nothing and I mean nothing is going right.  When the walls of your world are falling down around you and even those precepts that are the foundation of your life seem in doubt.  Rather than testing my faith I find those times strengthen my faith.  Delusional, right?

That’s the thing about faith.  You will never prove it by logic, you can’t point to it and say here it is.  No facts, no figures, and nothing you can pin down.  It’s either there or not.

I do not look down upon those that do not have faith just as I do not look down upon others that have their own beliefs.  I have met many people from different belief systems and have found that their believing or not believing has nothing to do with whether they are good or bad.  I have met atheists that embody the ideals of christian compassion better than some christians I know.  However that doesn’t mean I want to be an atheist.

So do I believe in a creator?  Yes

Do I believe in an afterlife? Yes

Do I believe that there is a point to this life thing and that it’s not all just one incredibly complicated math equation playing itself out to completion over several billion years?  Yes

Am I going to hassle you with pamphlets, ask for donations, or shun you if you don’t believe as I do?  No

Am I ever going to blog about religion ever again?  Probably not