God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
– Reinhold Niebuhr
I was always given to understand that this was the U.S. Army Ranger prayer but recently I found out that it wasn’t and that in fact it’s part of a prayer used by Alcoholics Anonymous.
I suppose it’s good for both cases. Both sets of people face daunting challenges after all and everyone can benefit from the good advice given.
The Serenity
When I was younger and more bright-eyed I believed that any and every problem was solvable not just by the world at large but by me in particular. What a shock it was to find out that it wasn’t. It felt something like being punched for the first time to find out that you have limitations. You want to get back up and try to make that change but some things in life are not going to turn out the way you want them to. You can make yourself miserable by trying and failing over and over again at the same task. This misery can metastasize into a feeling of futility about not just that particular problem but about your life in general. Somewhere along the line I learned that in some things I have to let go.
The courage
In the original version I heard this was the “the strength to change the things I can“. We all need to realize that yes we have to accept some things in life as unsolvable. Not everything is going to work out the way you want it to but first we need to look deep inside and see if we do have the strength to make things better. Many times when we get pushed and pushed to our extreme limits we find that yes indeed we do have that inner core of strength just waiting to come out. Deep inside lies the untapped potential of our being just waiting for the opportunity to come to our rescue in our darkest hours. Realize that it is in all of us to make our situation better. We don’t have to accept every situation as is. Remember that line from the Pet Shop boys.
There’s a lot of opportunities
If there aren’t, you can make them – “Opportunities”
The Wisdom
This is where most of us trip up. how can you tell which is the solvable problem and which is not? That I can’t say. Each is unique and has its own characteristics and there are no easy answers. A part of wisdom is persistence. You have to look over a problem from every possible and impossible angle to see if there is a solution. Part of it is courage. You have to look deep inside yourself and see if you have the will inside of you to carry out a solution no matter how much it may cost you personally. The last part is the serenity. You have to sometimes accept that it’s okay to walk away.
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