aftermath

Recently someone who I am very fond of was the victim of a crime.  Physically she’s fine and I think emotionally she’s fine too.  She’s remarkably strong.  But even the most resilient of us can be somewhat marred by such an experience.

I’ve been mugged a couple of times, I’ve known other people who have had their homes or offices burglarized, I’ve known victims of domestic abuse.  Crimes such as these tend to leave a type of blemish or scar on the soul that is sometimes hard to see or make out.

Even the most “benign” or transitory of crimes can be a jarring experience for the victim.  I think part of the reason is the wanton violation of one’s personal space.  The thought that someone can come in at will and impose themselves on you that way would be unsettling to anyone.

What you thought of as “safe” places suddenly need to be re-evaluated.  Someone I know had their office burglarized and he came to the office after it happened and slept in the office with a loaded gun.  His space had been violated and he felt he had to re-establish it as his own.

The other thing is that these type of crimes make you feel jumpy about strangers.  You no longer look at strangers with the same kind of trust and open mind like you once did.

The damage, though it may not show, is real.  You want to help.  But you really shouldn’t.

Not at first anyways.  Something like this has to be dealt with by the person, first and foremost.  They have a lot to sort out and a lot to work through.  Most people do it on their own and at their own pace.

We as friends and family need only stand by if needed.  Just let them know that you’re available and let things work themselves out.  Frustrating sometimes but the best way to handle the situation.

Sometimes though if the person affected doesn’t seem to be healing or moving forward it may be necessary to step in but usually it’s best done with the help of a trained professional.

It may not seem as if you’re doing anything by just standing by, but believe me, you are.  If you are in some way needed, the person will let you know what they need from you so don’t worry about it.