So you’ve spotted someone who you’re interested in. You want to make the introduction and get to know them. You go up to them and greet them and…nothing. Well maybe she doesn’t want to talk, maybe she’s tired, maybe waiting for someone to arrive. Move on.
Twenty minutes later, the same person you interested in. Some random guy tries to talk to them but now she has a totally different attitude. Very open, very receptive.
So what’s going on? Did you do something wrong? Dress the wrong way, say the wrong thing? What?
The answer is….yes and no.
One thing I’ve noticed being an observer in life (and observing is a large part of what I’ve done these last forty odd years) is that in some cases it really doesn’t matter what you wear, what you say, what you look like. Don’t get me wrong. All that stuff helps out. But the main thing that determines if this person will reciprocate interest is if they’re open to that attention or not.
I have seen guys in the latest fashions, the flashy jewelry, and smoothest lines get shot down while some frumpy little guy simply says hello and ends up having a six-hour conversation with the same woman.
If a woman is interested in you then you can use the stupidest hackneyed lines, dress like hell, and she’ll still think that you’re awesome and she will reciprocate the interest. Honestly, I have heard guys use ridiculously cheesy lines. Stuff right out of bad movies and a woman will react favorably.
If she’s not interested then it doesn’t matter what you wear, what you say, or do. Nothing will change her mind.
Why you ask? What makes her interested in you to begin with? Difficult to say as it’s different for everyone but maybe the guy in question is tall, maybe he’s got the build that she’s interested in. Maybe something in his body language appeals to her. Maybe s combination of factors.
That initial impression caries so much power in it that it can either buttress or taint a relationship before it even starts.
How do you make that first impression count when you don’t know what someone else is looking for? You can’t carry a whole wardrobe, an image consultant, a joke writer, and a make up artist everywhere with you.
The best and really the only thing you can do is to be confident in your own skin and project that aspect of you outwards. You have to be the biggest fan of you that exists. If you are self-assured and you really think that you’re great and you are confident about yourself then that will show on the outside.
On the other hand if you’re dissatisfied with yourself and unsure then all of that will also come out in your bearing. Even before you say a word it will be in your eyes and people will react negatively. If you don’t love yourself then how do you expect others to?
Does this always work? No. Believe it or not, in this life not everyone will think that you’re great. Maybe they’ll think you’re nice but someone else is better. That’s something that you will have to accept. So, no promises other than the promise that if you get into this frame of mind that you will have a better chance of success than if you’re in the wrong frame of mind.
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