confusion

When I used to work at an office I would arrive quite early in the morning.  As I would arrive first in the morning I would unlock the office with my copy of the office key.  Sometimes I would try to open the office door with my house key.  Then sometimes when I was getting home I would try to unlock my door with the office key.

They look nothing alike but I caught myself doing that more than once.  I asked a friend in the mental health field what that meant.  She said it may mean that my unconscious was confusing my home life with work and that when I came into work in the mornings that I was equating work with an escape from my home life.

This worried me somewhat as it made me think of why I would be thinking of my home life as some sort of work.  I sat down and considered what I was going through at home and realized that I was challenged in some ways that I didn’t like and that I might consider my home life to be work.

I’m not one of those “live to work” types that bosses dream about.  For me work is something that I do to make a living.  I don’t really consider it a passion of mine.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t hate work and If I commit to do something I will do it as best as I can but honestly I can’t see how some people get overly excited by office work.  It’s not what I consider exciting or fun.

I find that when I don’t enjoy something I tend to equate it with work.  The really surprising thing to me is that I considered work to be an escape.  Was my home life really that bad?  In some ways it was.

I knew it was really bad when I tried to use my house key for my car.

I had to put the office back into its proper category and to return my home life to the category of being my sanctuary away from the problems of life.  That’s when I sat down and began trying to sort out my life and really see what and who was making my life miserable.  My solution was to begin cutting the problem aspects of my life from my home life and devoting my home space as an inviolable place where the troubles of everyday life would not be allowed.

I haven’t had the problem with the keys since that time.

I think that in some sense we all sometimes have confusion with regards to some parts of our lives becoming blurred and meshed together with other parts of our lives.  Sometimes our subconscious will come up with odd and unique ways to let us know that something is wrong.