flaws

“My flaws define me. My mistakes teach me. My experiences mold me and my decisions build me.”

– Unknown

I have to be honest, I haven’t always had the best of relationships with myself over the years.  I don’t know quite where it started.  Possibly in junior high when I began to lag behind others physically.  Possibly the day that I learned that my vision was shot and I would need glasses.  Maybe when I realized that I wasn’t quite as smart as I thought I was.

Whenever it was, one day I decided consciously or subconsciously to let these flaws take over every aspect of my life.  They determined what I would and would not do, what I could be or could not be.

If something didn’t turn out right then it was the fault of my flaws and in some ways I could take comfort in that.  That was my excuse for not trying harder.  I loaned my flaws too much power and allowed them to shape my existence.

About four or five years ago I decided to stop my general decline and to get my life back in order.  Back to what I wanted it to be.  One of the first things I had to do was to not blame my flaws but to reconcile myself with them.  I had to accept my flaws for what they were but neither blame or empower them, just be at peace with them.

My flaws or rather my differences define who I am.  They determine what I have to work with and give me a road map to see how I will accomplish things.  These are the tools that I have to work with so I better make the most of them and learn to love them.

My mistakes have taught me not to use my differences as excuses for not doing things.  I need to look back upon this hard-won wisdom and apply it to the present and future so I won’t have to repeat these lessons again.

My experiences have molded my life into its present shape.  I have to accept that.  I cannot go back and alter my experiences.  All I can hope for is that my experiences from here on out will re-mold that life into what I want.

My decisions will build my life.  I can decide to dwell on the past and not get things done, to hide within my flaws and use them as reasons to cower.  Or I can decide to see each day as a new opportunity and to figure out ways to use my differences to my advantage.  I can decide to build my life in the way that I want it to go.

My flaws are not flaws at all.