Category Archives: Thought

The numbers of life

February 22, 2014 6:59 AM , 2 Comments ,

Have you ever read a book or a poem or listened to a song or looked at a painting and thought to yourself how perfect it is?  Have you ever looked at a landscape and pondered that it somehow resonates with you somewhere deep inside just because it is the way it is?

I don’t mean that these things are just pleasant to contemplate but that the way that these things are put together (whatever it is) are for lack of another word, perfect?

Well things like the Fibonacci sequence and the golden ratio do exist in nature and it seems many natural phenomena and living things use these ratios.  Life seems to be able to express itself using math in various wonderful ways.

But I want to focus more on human arts.  The way that you are sometimes reading a book and you read a passage and you stare at a sentence and marvel at the way it is put together.  Every word carefully chosen, the structure just right.  When you finish reading it the result is poetic or even melodic to your mind.  Any change, any word substitution would ruin it and the result would seem off-balance.

I remember a sci-fi show years ago where an alien civilization came into contact with humans and were amazed at our music as they had no such concept of their own.  They were a culture totally devoted to math.  They valued the music not for the song contents but for the mathematical expression of the musical notes.  To them this was a new way to appreciate numbers.

I sometimes wonder that if we were to express novels, or poems in some mathematical fashion that well written works would come out as well written and beautifully complex mathematical equations that balanced out.

Perhaps then maybe we too can be expressed as mathematical equations.  Maybe if we were able to express our lives in terms of numbers and equations we could clearly see what was unbalanced or wrong and take steps to correct it.  Would it be that easy?  Would we even be happy if we knew how to do this?  Or would we continue to live life as we have previously done so because to us the equation seems perfect no matter what the numbers say.

Posted in: art, prose, science, thought

optimism, pessimism, and me

February 8, 2014 6:43 AM , 1 Comment ,

A funny cartoon I saw last year:

3 glasses on a table. All filled to about mid level with a yellow liquid.  The bubble over the first glass reads “I’m half full” and he has a smile.  The second bubble reads “I’m half empty” and the glass has a frown.  The last bubble reads “I think this is piss” and the glass has a shocked expression.  The caption below all of them reads:

“Realists: the only ones who really know what is going on.”

Attitude can color every fact and action in your life.  A crowd of people can read the same news story and draw entirely different conclusions.  An event can alter two person’s futures in totally different ways just due to the way that their frame of mind processes the event.  That crucial first impression can be read in different ways by two people meeting the same person at the same time.

I’ve been called a pessimist by people I know and by online tests.  But I think the term has been used as a broad brush for anyone that doesn’t always look for the bright side of anything and everything.  Thing is that optimism isn’t all that good an outlook either.  You can trip and fall just as much by assuming that everything will turn out alright as by assuming that everything will fall apart.  The real world is so multi faceted and complex that I don’t think you can look at everything in a totally optimistic or pessimistic way.

My outlook on life is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst and to always see things as they are and not as I hope or dread that they are.  Tough advice to follow sometimes.  Specially when I have to struggle with my own fears and desires that want to set their own agendas within my mind.

After I make a decision or form an opinion about an object, an event, or a person I have to think to myself is this really the way things are or am I letting some unspoken filter alter my thought process?

Did I make that sale?  Is the roof going to make it one more year?  Will the economy get better?  Does she like me?  So many things to be concerned about.  So few concrete answers.  All I have to go on is my gut.

Posted in: attitude, life in general, personality, thought

generation which?

February 2, 2014 6:41 AM , 2 Comments ,

I was reading an article in Wired magazine the other day about Generation X and how we’ve matured and changed in the last quarter century to become more responsible and settled.

While I don’t necessarily disagree with this assessment, what really caught my eye was a list of famous generation Xer’s, particularly President Obama.

While technically it is true (he was born in 1961 and by the definition of the generation X time frame of 1961 to 1981 he fits), I find it hard to accept that he is part of my generation.  He seems to be more in tune with an older, more analog generation.

Being born in 1970 I am smack dab in the middle of Generation X and I suppose I do carry some of the ideas, faults, and peccadilloes of my generation.  I am more in tune with my fellow X’ers than with my parents and with those born to the later generations. I don’t necessarily agree with all the ideas of this generation but I am aware of them.

But what is it like for those born right at the edge of one generation and another?  How do they identify?  Ideas, concepts, and movements from both generations tug at them constantly.  I always think that it must be something akin to ‘middle child syndrome”, where you don’t really know what role you play in the family.

Sometimes the generational gap isn’t too broad a leap.  The Millennial generation seems to me to be quite similar to the Xer’s in ideas and problems and I don’t imagine that those born between these two generations are too confused.

I don’t think that the same can be said for those born between the baby boomers and generation X.  I imagine that the early sixties was a somewhat confusing time to be born and to start out in life.  Many of the old cultural identities didn’t apply anymore and the new ones had not yet been drafted.  One generation is more idealistic and the other one more self-centered.  What does this make these in betweeners?  Do they rebel against both generations and set their own course?  Are they somehow handicapped in life by not having a firm set of ideas?

Posted in: aging, culture, life in general, pop culture, thought

Now what?

January 5, 2014 7:00 AM , Leave a Comment ,
“You know, a town with money’s a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it!”
―Lyle Lanley from “The Simpsons”

A few weeks back everyone was getting excited about one of the big lotteries.  The sum total had climbed over $600 million and people were in a state of hysteria buying up more and more tickets.

Inevitably on the news channels came the man on the street interviews asking people what they would do with all that money and the answers ranged from “not working ever again” or buying some expensive item or paying off bills.

Good enough for a thirty-second news piece but really have these folks pondered what they would really do with all of that money?  Let’s imagine a winner that gets a modest jackpot of 50 million.

Pay debts – An investing website in September reported that the average American was about a quarter of a million dollars in debt.  A good chunk of this is of course mortgage debt.  That’s all gone with a few strokes of the pen.  bye-bye debts and bye-bye $250,000

Buy things – So of course the average person is going to go on a spending spree and of course hold some parties for his family and friends.  He will no doubt purchase cars, televisions, furniture, clothes, and most certainly one or more properties.  So there goes another 3 to 4 million.

Travel – Jet set around the world and see those places and things you’ve heard about all of your life.  Another million or so.

Invest – So now that you’ve slaked all the urges you can think of, someone (usually a friend or family member) suggests that you invest in something and they usually have a good idea of where to invest and oddly enough it involves them.  So here goes another 5 to 10 million or more.

(A side note, in researching this I found that 44% of all lottery winners spend all their winnings in 5 years or less.  Where does it all go?!?!)

But now what?  You’ve done it all and seen it all but that’s about as far as most people get.  If even that far.  We look at the short-term prize and say to ourselves “wouldn’t that be great if we had that?”  But most people never stop to think and then what?

I think it’s a telling difference between people who earn their money and those that win or inherit their money that the people who earn their money through hard work and planning are able to answer this question.

They’ve obsessed, planned, and strived for their dreams for so long that they know exactly what they need to do next.  Those that suddenly have good fortune dropped on their laps don’t.

But it’s not just money.  Some people dream about being celebrities, some dream about being athletes, some about marrying some attractive person or some other seemingly impossible dream.  But these people never stop and consider or plan on how they get from here to there.

I’m not saying that it’s impossible.  What I am saying though is rather than just dream or lust after some unattainable goal, why not plan and work for it?  And then consider what you will do after you get it.

Posted in: culture, goals, plans, thought

Omens and symbols

December 16, 2013 9:03 PM , Leave a Comment ,

I suppose that in some ways I am superstitious.  But only because these things really happen to me.

I’m a precog, someone who can see into the future, but like most precogs it’s a fairly useless power and not at all reliable.  I will get an image in my mind.  Something pops up for no reason at all.  No trigger mechanism, no casual mention by anyone, just appears in my head.  Within a week an event relating to that image will occur.

In the past this mostly this took the form of predicting TV show reruns.  I would see a scene or character from a TV show and sure enough within a week, there’s the episode.  Now that I have for the most part abandoned TV watching this type of precognition has for the most part faded.

Now it takes the form of omens in my life.  Good example, this week.  I thought about my car’s extended warranty less than a week ago.  No reason at all.  My car’s in the shop right now for transmission work.  Hopefully the warranty will cover it.

Not at all a useful power.  It’s hard to sift between the real omens and the random thoughts and it’s not something that can be accessed at will.  I’ve discussed this phenomena with some of my more philosophically and metaphysically minded friends and acquaintances.  Their thinking points mainly to the writings of Jung and his concept of synchronicity and meaningful causality.  That these are not just random events but an expression of some sort of deeper organized pattern.  I just try to ignore it as best as possible.

Symbols are another matter.  I suppose they’re an expression of those things in life that I’ve come to sort internally as good/bad, better/worse, positive/negative.  They can range from the rather inane and pedestrian to esoteric and deeply personal.

Take some of the more banal symbols out there.  Coca cola for instance, not the drink but the logo, the colors, the font.  Comparing that to the Pepsi symbol.  When I was growing up the Coke symbol was good and Pepsi was bad just based on the logos.  Bizarre I know but that’s how a kid thinks.  My universe was sorted along strict lines and things like coke and pepsi were well and truly separated by an unbridgeable gap.  Of course now that I am free from my cola and fructose addictions I see all of these as “bad” symbols.

Over time I have added and disregarded symbols as time passed and as situations changed.  As much as I try to disregard these symbols and keep an open mind about things I find that they do sneak in and flavor my thinking about some things.  All I can do is to try to remain vigilant and keep my mind as open as possible.

 

 

Posted in: ideas, life in general, myths, psychology, thought

Withdrawing or engaging life

December 10, 2013 7:50 AM , Leave a Comment ,

It’s easy to get disheartened these days.  We hear so much bad news coming at us from every angle that I don’t wonder when people tell me that they’re distressed or depressed.

It seems that we can’t trust our government or big business.  They seem to be out to spy on you or “get you” and many of the institutions that we have come to rely upon seem to be turning against us in every conceivable way.  If they’re not turning against us they seem to be failing and disappointing us.

One solution is of course to pull into ourselves like turtles and try to block out the world as much as possible.  We can throw up our arms in despair and say that there’s nothing to be done and we have no choice in the matter.  We might as well just go along with whatever life has in store for us.  It’s a very seductive path in that you don’t have to expend any effort to follow this path and you get a moderate reward for following along dutifully.  Not everything that you want but at least enough or almost enough.

The other path is much harder of course.  You can choose to engage life and try to shape it in the ways that you want it to go.  You can look at the inequities of life and try to redress the balance in your favor.  You can plan and work towards that economic status that you want by seizing every opportunity and not squandering your resources on petty things.  You can affect change by supporting those causes that you believe in.  You can talk and try to persuade people to your point of view.

It’s a much tougher path to follow and it doesn’t always lead to success.  Indeed you stand a decent chance of failing if you follow that course.  But let me ask you, even if you fail don’t you think that this is going to be a more interesting path to follow?

Would you rather be bored out of your mind waiting for something to be handed to you, waiting for life to happen to you at its own pace or would you rather go out and make life happen?  Find out how things work, how those people who you read about in newspapers, magazines, and on websites make their lives into what they want them to be.

Which type of life would you rather have?

Posted in: future, ideas, life in general, motivation, thought

Creatives

November 20, 2013 8:49 PM , 2 Comments ,

I’ve been on a bit of a culture kick this year.

Going to art galleries, live theater, listening to new types of music, going to book readings and just really getting to know more about this world.

It’s not just the art work that draws me in but the people who created the works themselves.  I find it fascinating to learn about these creative people and how they came up with their ideas.  Mostly I love to hear about how they decided to share those gifts one day with the public and tell everyone ” Here I am!”

I can’t even fathom how that works.  To take something that was so private and so innate to yourself and think “yes, this is great and I must share it”.  I don’t know if I could do that.  So naturally I look up to artists.

I am also amazed at their levels of talent.  When you think of the amount of time and dedication put into these art works.

Simply amazing!

Posted in: art, ideas, talking, thought

Vacation 2013 part III: The Sagamore

October 19, 2013 3:58 PM , Leave a Comment ,

If the first part of my vacation was meant for doing all the touristy things that one does in New York city, and Mohonk was for doing outdoor activities, then the Sagamore was meant for peace and quiet.

The season was over at Lake George.  Towns like Bolton’s landing live and die by the Summer tourist season and once it’s over they waste no time in shutting down.  All of the rental boats were being coocooned away in plastic wrap, some stores had shut down for the year and even the restaurants were only open for dinner.  The Sagamore itself had a somewhat empty feel about it.  Less than half the rooms were occupied and all the lakeside activities had been suspended for the year.  Which was fine for me since I’ve never really been a fan of para-sailing, water skiing, or snorkeling.  The hotel takes up most of an island and I was in a free-standing lodge which looked like a small condominium.  Out of the 4 suites, I was the only one there.

I was determined to take time to reflect on my life, to think, to just quietly contemplate.  The solitude and quiet I felt would be conducive to this.  Thee problem with this is that contemplation really never starts and stops on command.  I felt it was too quiet.

The next day I decided to remedy this with a trip north of the border.  Surely Canada could be inspirational.  Crossing over was uneventful.  They did the standard customs stuff and had a drug dog sniff around the car.  Canada, or Quebec in this case was all farmland.  The signs were in french, the speed limits in kilometers per hour, and I soon got bored and turned round.  That’s when the problems began.  I flashed my passport to the American agent at the border.  She was puzzled as to why I had crossed over just to look around.  I was sent to an interrogation room.  In the waiting room sat a man who looked to be middle eastern or maybe north African.  He looked depressed.  I think he knew that he was going to be turned back.  An agent led him off somewhere.

Three agents came in.  Two of them took up tactical stances at my 3 and 9 o’clock positions with their hands on their batons.  I think they expected me to put up a fight.  The lead agent looked over my ID, rifled through my credit cards and money, and questioned me repeatedly about my trip.  For some reason they thought it bizarre that anyone would want to travel alone or that I was just sightseeing.  They kept asking me the same questions over again, trying to trip me up or to cause me to get angry and to give them a reason to hold me.  The lead agent kept on saying “this doesn’t make sense to me” while the female agent kept saying this “smells fishy to her”.

Fortunately I had seen the same cop shows they had watched and I had probably seen the shows that those shows were based upon so I recognized the good cop bad cop routine.  The lead agent asked me if I wanted to incriminate myself and make it easier for myself.  I said no since I had done nothing.  The female agent was exasperated and said “I’ve got nothing”.  So they let me go.  They had wasted nearly half an hour of my vacation.

The second night I sat by the lake at Sagamore and just watched the moon rise over the hills, the air was crisp and cold, the waves lapped gently on the dock.  I was at peace.

The last day was totally unplanned.  I got in the car and drove north along the lake shore.  Every inch of lake shore had either a hotel or someone’s million dollar home on it.  As I drove, torrential downpours of gold, orange, and brown leaves cascaded down and increased my calm.

Around lunch time I found a rustic roadside tavern and had a very nice french onion soup and sandwich.  I found I was near Fort Ticonderoga and looked around the place.  Some very nice demonstrations and the place was well looked after.  Went back to the Sagamore for a massage appointment.  This took out some of the knots in my back from all the driving.  Had a nice Salmon dinner (when you have a good piece of fish you don’t need to add any fancy sauces or condiments).

The Sagamore is probably a very nice place but it’s a Summer place.  You need to go there to enjoy the lake more than anything else.  It did its job and provided the calm that I was looking for.  I just wasn’t all that receptive to it.

Posted in: borders, thought, vacations , Tagged: ,

Introspection

September 7, 2013 2:07 PM , Leave a Comment ,

The act of looking within oneself and examining your thought process or how you live your life.

Many Peoples around the world have this as part of the culture.  For some it merely took a quiet place and time to look within.  Others required more complex rituals.

Among some native Americans it took deprivation and extreme physical duress to reach this state.  They would either starve or thirst or endure harsh conditions in isolation until a revelation was made.  Sometimes hallucinogenics were used.

Some early indo-europeans believed the opposite to be true.  A state of extreme bliss usually brought about by alcohol or poppy derived substances could lead to profound revelations.

The idea was an is to separate the mind from the body. To disengage the physical world from the mind and allow it to operate independently.  Have you ever been in pain? hungry? sad? cold?  You know how distracting this is to your mind.  When you’re at work and you have a headache or you ate something bad or you’re worried about your home life.  You can’t get anything done because your mind is preoccupied.

But beyond that is something else.  When you go past simple hunger, beyond thirst, beyond pain.  When the mind becomes so saturated by these that it no longer accepts stimuli from these then the mind disengages.  It exists in a space all its own.  A mind free to think just for the sake of thinking.

I suppose some use meditation techniques to do the same thing.  Others exercise and let the repetitive motion lull them.  I wonder though if the results are the same.

All I need is some “quiet” time which is basically some time to myself to think.  No “distractions” and the reason I use the quotes is that sometimes I will go into a noisy hectic bar and find a corner to myself and start thinking.  I tune out the noise and lights and let people do their thing while I do mine.  I could sit in my room and do the same but there I wouldn’t have the guarantee that someone wouldn’t come looking for me needing me to do something.  In a noisy crowded place like that I can be by myself.  It’s like hiding in plain sight.

Haven’t had much time for this lately and I desperately need to.

Posted in: myths, thought