Category Archives: Personality

The story of your life

September 11, 2015 7:06 AM , Leave a Comment ,

“We are the sum of our experiences”

I’ve heard this quote in several different versions in various books, movies, and plays.  Usually it is being offered up as advice by an older character to a younger character to take the long view of life and not just dwell upon a single event as the defining event of their life.

“When I asked for strength, God sent me hardships to make me grow stronger.”

Possibly a Hindi, native american, Jewish, or christian saying.  Possibly just some universal wisdom that transcends time and culture.

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”

Shakespeare from As you like it.

I’ve had to think about and take some comfort in these sayings this year.  This has not been the year that I contemplated or planned for.  Don’t get me wrong, this has been far from a disastrous year but definitely not one that I would like to repeat and we’re not even done yet. But I’ve been trying to make sense and put a positive spin on what’s been going on.

So going in order:  “We are the sum of our experiences”

I am more than a mere biomechanical construct set down on this planet to move dirt around till I wind down.  At least I hope so.  The things that I have done and experienced, the things that have happened to me, the events that I’ve lived through, have shaped and changed my perspective over time.  More than that, the people I have met have altered my outlook on life and given me new things to think about.  I look back on the difficulties that I’ve lived through and see how they have prepared me for some of the challenges that I have or am living through right now.  Without those experiences and the people related to those experiences I would not be me.

Which leads me into the second saying; “When I asked for strength, God sent me hardships”.  I don’t see any of the bad times that I’ve had in my life as tragedies or pointless events or as some sort of punishment.  At least I try not to.  I mean I know it’s tempting to look for fault or to curse and spit when things are going wrong.  I know that I have succumbed to that temptation from time to time.  But over the long haul I see them as scars or marks of experience that remind me that I have survived in the past and that I can continue to survive no matter how much things change or what life throws at me.

And life does change which leads me to the last saying “All the world’s…”

Sometimes I think that life is like a book.  The experiences, the facets of life, are the chapters.  You are the protagonist and your life is the main plot line.  Of course you don’t get to guide or control the plot or the other characters.  Everything and everyone writes the totality of the story but it all comes together in the end.

The people you know are the other characters.  Just like in a long novel some characters make entrances, they affect the story, and then they leave and so ends a chapter.  None of them are truly evil or truly good.  They just play out their parts in your story while living out their own story, of which by the way you are a character in.  We affect and counter affect each other and the resulting mess is what we call life.

I am now trying to look at this year as a learning experience, something to grow and build upon, a facet of my life preparing me for the next chapter whatever that may be.  I have to believe that the people and experiences in the last year have imparted some sort of lesson or wisdom or something that will lead me to the next part of my life.  Which leads me to one final quote.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

That’s the hardest part, letting go and stepping out into the darkness, possibly stepping out into nothingness.  You can get so wrapped up in your dreams and plans that letting go is physically painful.  Facing a new reality without a specific plan or a dream is frightening.

In the end though whether I want to or not, the chapter comes to an end and I have to turn the page and begin writing the next sentence.

Posted in: faith, family, friends, life in general, personality, philosophy, relationships

The one guy you can’t live without

August 28, 2015 6:43 AM , Leave a Comment ,

You’re doing your darnedest to impress the client or you’re trying to show off to competitors at a convention and suddenly you look for something inane like a pen or a post it pad or you simply hope that there’s paper in the bathroom.

You turn round and….. it’s all there where it’s supposed to be.  One of your support personnel busted their butt overnight or the week before as they always do and made sure everything was where it’s supposed to be.

We never notice them and we give them little to no praise.  It’s their job, right?  But we certainly notice when those little annoying details aren’t there.

Office managers, secretaries, personal assistants, administrators.  They don’t all do the same thing but their roles sometimes overlap and sometimes merge together in the modern office.

I’ve known a few in my time.  I think it takes a certain type of personality that wants to deal with all the petty and minor details that we take for granted.

We live in proposals, in presentations, in the glitz and glamour of the business world.  They read office depot catalogs, surf through business supply websites, and generally put up with complaints from their co-workers with a smile or at least an indulgent blank stare.

I know we don’t say it enough but thank you.

Posted in: business, organization, personality

optimism, pessimism, and me

February 8, 2014 6:43 AM , 1 Comment ,

A funny cartoon I saw last year:

3 glasses on a table. All filled to about mid level with a yellow liquid.  The bubble over the first glass reads “I’m half full” and he has a smile.  The second bubble reads “I’m half empty” and the glass has a frown.  The last bubble reads “I think this is piss” and the glass has a shocked expression.  The caption below all of them reads:

“Realists: the only ones who really know what is going on.”

Attitude can color every fact and action in your life.  A crowd of people can read the same news story and draw entirely different conclusions.  An event can alter two person’s futures in totally different ways just due to the way that their frame of mind processes the event.  That crucial first impression can be read in different ways by two people meeting the same person at the same time.

I’ve been called a pessimist by people I know and by online tests.  But I think the term has been used as a broad brush for anyone that doesn’t always look for the bright side of anything and everything.  Thing is that optimism isn’t all that good an outlook either.  You can trip and fall just as much by assuming that everything will turn out alright as by assuming that everything will fall apart.  The real world is so multi faceted and complex that I don’t think you can look at everything in a totally optimistic or pessimistic way.

My outlook on life is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst and to always see things as they are and not as I hope or dread that they are.  Tough advice to follow sometimes.  Specially when I have to struggle with my own fears and desires that want to set their own agendas within my mind.

After I make a decision or form an opinion about an object, an event, or a person I have to think to myself is this really the way things are or am I letting some unspoken filter alter my thought process?

Did I make that sale?  Is the roof going to make it one more year?  Will the economy get better?  Does she like me?  So many things to be concerned about.  So few concrete answers.  All I have to go on is my gut.

Posted in: attitude, life in general, personality, thought

psychometric tests or why I’m none of these things

October 31, 2013 8:28 PM , Leave a Comment ,

I first heard of personality tests back in college.  I probably took one of the first online tests.  My results have always been pretty consistent.

I knew that I was introverted even before I knew the word, so that was no great shock.  The rest though…

ISTJ – Sometimes known as “the inspector”.  A short little description from Wikipedia:

“ISTJs are faithful, logical, organized, sensible, and earnest traditionalists who enjoy keeping their lives and environments well-regulated. Typically reserved and serious individuals, they earn success through their thoroughness and extraordinary dependability.

Although they often focus on their internal world, ISTJs prefer dealing with the present and the factual. They are detail-oriented and weigh various options when making decisions, although they generally stick to the conventional. ISTJs are well-prepared for eventualities and have a good understanding of most situations. They believe in practical objectives, and they value traditions and loyalty.”

This is where I began to have my doubts.  Well regulated, organized, sensible?  me?!?!

However much I disagreed, the type kept coming back.  Whether from online tests or tests done on paper and proctored by professionals, the results were the same and in time I came to accept it.  I was an ISTJ and I would have to accept it.

A couple of weeks ago, just on a whim I took an online test and the result was startling.  Startling enough for me to pay for a professional retest and the results were confirmed.  My personality type had migrated.

I have never heard of this happening before.

I am now an INFJ.

“INFJs are conscientious and value-driven. They seek meaning in relationships, ideas, and events, with an eye toward better understanding of themselves and others. Using their intuitive skills, they develop a clear and confident vision, which they then set out to execute, aiming to better the lives of others. Like their INTJ counterparts, INFJs regard problems as opportunities to design and implement creative solutions.

INFJs have been mistaken for extroverts, as they tend to possess multiple personalities due to their complex inner life; however, they are true introverts. INFJs are private individuals who prefer to exercise their influence behind the scenes. Though they are very independent, INFJs are intensely interested in the well-being of others. INFJs prefer one-on-one relationships to large groups. Sensitive and complex, they are adept at understanding complicated issues and driven to resolve differences in a cooperative and creative manner.”

It feels a little closer to the truth of my personality.  I don’t however think any of these types really define who I am.  The types are so broad and so vague that they could really describe anyone.  It reminds me a bit of fortune-telling tricks used to encourage people to pay more money to hear more about themselves.

I feel that I have evolved some in the last 5 years but I am still in transition and have not arrived at my final form yet.  I think however that this is getting closer to that final form.  With a little bit of tweaking I may be able to get comfortable in this new personality type.

Posted in: personality, psychology