Category Archives: Horror

Hemlock Grove – online series review

[Author’s note:  This will discuss details from the series Hemlock Grove.  If you don’t want to know you should stop reading now]

Netflix has invested heavily into producing original content to stream through their service and although they’ve had great success with series like Orange is the New Black and House of Cards, not everything has been a resounding success.

Don’t get me wrong.  Hemlock Grove is not a terrible show but it does have some problems that I believe led to the decision that it will be cancelled after the upcoming season.

Hemlock Grove is a series based on the novel by Brian McGreevy and centers around a rich family, The Godfreys, that practically own the small town of Hemlock Grove.  Into this situation arrives a gypsy family (The Rumanceks) and they live across the lake from the Godfreys.  The story takes place as a series of paranormal events are taking place and involve all the main characters.

The shows mixes all sorts of paranormal and horror elements including werewolves, vampires, strange curses, and mad scientists but it also mixes a healthy dose of teenage angst and soap opera situations into the mix and that’s part of the problem.

Hemlock Grove has an identity problem in that it really doesn’t know what it is and where it’s going.  The other problem it has is that it can’t properly pace the storyline to keep the viewer engaged.

Season one played out at the beginning too much like the Twilight movies.  The whole vampire versus werewolf conflict played out as a fight for the affections of one of the heroines of the show.  Some episodes went back and forth and really didn’t advance the story along and then all of a sudden all the action occurs in the last couple of episodes.

Season two began with no clear storyline and then slowly developed one and then things took bizarre twists and turns involving religious cults and psychics and then resolved that storyline mid-season and introduced a second one possibly involving space aliens at the end.

It’s a bit of a mess and a little difficult to follow.  The other thing that makes it difficult to watch is the gratuitous use of blood and gore.  Granted you can’t make a show with werewolves and vampires without some blood and gore but this show seems to have gotten a bulk discount on fake blood and is intent on using it.

All that being said the show does have some memorable characters in it and the idea of bringing the paranormal and horror elements into a contemporary setting generally works for me but the execution is clumsy.

If the producers had taken a more evenhanded approach and slowed the pacing down a bit I feel that this would have been a much better series.  Unfortunately the Netflix management felt that the series was waning in popularity and will end the show with the upcoming 3rd season.

Hopefully some producers will learn some lessons from Hemlock Grove and make a better effort at a contemporary horror series at some future date.

Your Halloween viewing guide

I sometimes listen to a program on NPR called The Dinner party Download. They sometimes give suggestions for food, music, and other details for dinner parties as well as cover all sorts of topics.

In that spirit I thought I would put together a list of Halloween movies appropriate for the season in case you find yourself alone or with friends one of these October nights and have a yearning for something seasonal.  I have mixed in some comedies as well as horror movies.  Halloween is meant to be fun after all.  Probably should watch these at night with the lights out for maximum effect

 

 The Walking dead – Incredibly this is in its fifth season.  I mean, I thought the whole zombie premise was barely plausible enough for one 90-minute movie but these folks have managed to squeeze out years of TV revolving around a small band of survivors stuck in a zombie world.  This features the latest in gory special effects.  The plot deals more with character interactions than with the zombie apocalypse.  The stories are solid enough to keep you hooked and the writers aren’t scared of killing off fan favorite characters just to keep things fresh.

Kolchak: The Nightstalker – One of those forgotten gems of 70s television.  Revolves around a reporter who gets drawn into all sorts of strange and spooky situations.  Pretty basic special effects but the writing and acting is solid.  The direct ancestor of the X-files.  You can probably find it online.  More campy than scary.

Salem’s lot – One of the first adaptations of a Stephen King novel.  Follows a writer that returns to his home town as a mysterious plague begins turning the citizens into vampires.  If you expect sparkly vampires then this isn’t for you.  These vampires tend more towards the gruesome.

Ed Wood – Homage to the worst director ever.  Johnny Depp’s portrayal of this pioneer of bad horror movies is hilarious and probably dead on.

The Ninth gate – Speaking of Johnny Depp he does a brilliant job of portraying an antique books collector obsessed with recovering a satanic bible from the clutches of an occult group.

Ghostbusters – A well made comedy.  Excellent special effects for the mid 1980s.  Thoroughly researched and put together.  I wish scriptwriters could still turn out work of this caliber.

The legend of Hell House – I don’t know if I can say that this was based (even indirectly) on Shirley Jackson’s House on haunted hill.  Both movies are quite similar.  Though I find Legend to be more horrifying than its predecessor.

Beetlejuice – Michael Keaton shows his comedic talents in this comedy about a pair of ghosts trying to reclaim their home from the new tenants; a pair of yuppies from New York City.

The Exorcist – I will be frank.  I am not a fan of gory movies or over the top so-called horror movies.  They really aren’t horror movies.  They are shocking movies with lots of blood.  To me horror is something more subdued and malevolent.  This is why I like this movie.  The evil and horror sneaks up on you little by little.  It is still the only movie that scares me.  Everyone talks about the infamous pea soup scene but they tend to forget (perhaps on purpose) the horror built up to that point.  It’s the little things you don’t see off camera that allow the imagination to run wild and scare you more.

The Exorcist III – The Exorcist series was widely panned and I guess with some good reason but I find III did a good job of tying back to the original story.  Brad Dourif does an over the top job as a demonic serial killer

 

the dark

[ Author’s note.  This story was inspired by an incident several months back.  I was running in the park before dawn and it was very foggy out.  I passed two homeless men sleeping on a park bench and woke them.  As I ran on, I swear I could hear footsteps behind me but all I could see was the fog all around me.  Probably all imagination on my part.  We shouldn’t fear the dark as much as we should fear what’s in our mind.]

 

 

The alarm went off and Beckie slapped at her smart-phone to shut off the alarm. With her eyes half closed she turned on the lamp on her night stand and sat up in bed scratching her head. No interest at all in running this morning but she knew that those were the days she had to do it most of all.

Her french Pug, Rascal, didn’t stir as she got out of bed and got ready to run. She slipped on her shorts and t-shirt, strapped on her pedometer watch and music player, laced up her running shoes and got her key. She made sure everything was secure and headed to the door.

Rascal was finally up and yapping at her. Begging to go out with her. “You’re too little, buddy. You’d never make the 5 miles, baby. But mommy will be back to walk you soon.”

Rascal chased her to the door and she had to nudge him back in to get out. She locked her door and trotted down the stairs to the ground floor. She lived on the third floor of a small apartment building in the city.

She was proud that she had come to the big scary city and made it on her own. Everyone in her home town told stories about how dangerous, rude, and creepy the big city could be but here she had been living in the big bad city for a year now and it had been nothing but awesome.

On the stoop of the building she went through her stretches but was disturbed by a rattle. Turning abruptly she saw Tim. He was a local homeless guy that she had run into a few times. Some said he was a homeless vet, others that he was just another junkie.  Mrs Reznick, the old lady, in 4C just said he was trouble.

Beckie didn’t care. She had been brought up to be kind to everyone and she sometimes sent a couple bucks his way or a sandwich now and then. Hopefully he would get his life together one day.

She waved to Tim and he waved back as she left for her run. She had a 5 mile course that she ran every morning. The cool darkness and quiet helped her think about things. Like maybe Randy from accounts? The tall blond hottie was certainly worth thinking about. He was also starting to take the hint and had started noticing her flirting.  If only that obnoxious Margie Thomas from H.R. would quit trying to steal him away.  Randy wanted a younger woman like Beckie not some old crone like Margie. I mean she was almost thirty!

She was about half a mile out when she heard…something. It wasn’t the normal city noises. She knew those and was comfortable with those. This was different, It was behind her and it seemed to be keeping up with her.

She resisted the urge to look back. She had not been scared of the dark since she was a kid. Her dad used to pull boogeyman pranks on her coming out of her closet at bedtime and made her almost pee the bed but she had long since outgrown those fears.

Was there something to fear back there? Her friend Connie ran the neighborhood watch program and had told her about some bastard wandering round in the area raping and killing women. Connie urged her to get in the group and help take back the night but Beckie thought that Connie was a worry wart. Maybe she was wrong.

Another rattle. Beckie stopped to listen. Nothing.

She started running again and there was that noise. Like a faint scratching. Her heart was beating faster. She didn’t need the wrist monitor to tell her that, she could hear it, and it had nothing to do with her workout.

She picked up the pace but the noise kept up with her. She recognized this part of her run. One of the sodium arc lights sometimes sputtered off leaving the street in pitch black conditions as if it were a country lane.

“Please, please stay on!” she thought as she ran down the street.

Just as she ran under the light it went out. She felt as if she was having a heart attack. Flashbacks of that boogie man coming out of the closet to get her swam through her panicked mind.

“Come back on, come back on! Please!”

She kept running. All she could sense was that noise getting closer and closer.

She picked up the pace as much as she could. Her legs pumping faster and faster. Sweat started running down her face and she felt she would vomit any second.

“Just have to make it home, just get home, girl.”

A hill. One of the few in the city and now she had to struggle up this to get back. Her legs were on fire. “He’s going to get you.” kept running over and over in her head.

She made it up the hill and went faster down the other side but the noise kept up. “Who the hell was this that could keep up with me?!?”

Her legs began giving out. Tears streaming down her face mixing with the sweat, making her eyes sting.

“No! No! Don’t stop now!”

They had no more strength left. But she was so close to home! She started slowing, she couldn’t help it. She was crying and finally collapsed under the glow of a street light. The noise got louder and she looked up to see who it was.

Rascal came out of the darkness. His little claws making that odd scratching noise on the concrete. He yapped at her and came to lick her face. She laughed and cried hysterically. Rascal just tilted his head and looked at her blinking a couple of times.

“How on earth did you get out you little monster!?”

She took the little darling in her arms and walked back the rest of the way. As she rounded the corner to her street she saw three police cruisers in front of her building as well as a funeral hearse. She approached a police man and asked what had happened.

They had been called to the building about a break in and found the local rapist that everyone was looking for and killed him in a shootout. Connie approached her. “He was in your apartment, Beckie. Waiting for you to get home.” A gurney rolled out with Tim lying dead on the slab. Mrs Reznick approached them.

“Told you he was trouble.”

An hour later Beckie saw the last of the policemen off. She thanked them for their kindness but she wouldn’t need a policeman outside her door. She locked the door and sighed. She put Rascal on the sofa and went to her room.

“What a morning! They will never believe this at work.”

She went to her closet and moved the clothes from one rail to one side. She unlatched the secret crawl space in her wall and opened it. Margie Thomas was still in there. Bound and gagged, Her mascara had run as she had been recently crying. Beckie smiled.

“That rapist dumb-ass nearly ruined everything. But don’t worry Margie. I’m going to take care of you real soon.”

Margie tried to scream through her gag as Beckie locked the crawl space again to get ready for work. She wondered what Randy would like to see her wear today.